Love Birds

Today, 26th July 2011. 5.34pm exactly in the office. I opened my FB....hm....thinking what to do, no bodies online. Looked around my friends FB. What a love birds are there. So sweet, but wondering how can it be last for so long? In the AFTERNOON I called him. Talking cool, nice and just a reminder then it make things all over the places. I have no longer know what I want for my life with u. To be honest, I am not understanding and running out of idea how to deliver what I thought and wanted to tell actually. You just want to understand your way, it is fine for me now. But how could u say all that to me just because u don't like what I say about your friends. Keep on repeating the words 9 years and I will stain this in my brain. I was crying looking at Arbi's and Mieza's FB comment. How sweet it can be like them. But is it will last long? I used to be like that as well....I am not trusting love anymore. I am totally confused. My friends married, having good relationship but it is unfortunate for me, all of my love story are not successful. I am hoping and doing my best to have a great relationship but all I get is headache, so unfair. Why? it's the only question I have. If you could have read my blog, actually I don't know what to write. I am so upsad but no idea how to express. Only by crying...but it's not worth it to cry for it. I just found all this are craps. So troublesome for me. I have no idea how to express it. No one could have understand. I have enough burden and now I want to touched my feelings for what? This is so difficult for me. Im just not enough strong to carry all this. All I wanted was something else. But I'm not the most luckiest person ever, every time it's always BAD LUCK. What the hell? I felt like giving up, it is too much for me. I felt tired enough for all this. Understand? Mieza, if u are reading this, I nak u tau yang I rase u ngan Arbi is so made for each other and I nak mintak maaf if I affect your relationship and nothing will ever happen between us anymore. I want u guys to be together. Just accept that he has change a lot for u. I am so happy for both of u. Best of luck my dear friend. I wish I will start belief again in LOVE.