Im Tired

Today 30 June 2011....2.16 am midnite. Still not getting my eye close at this time. Im just too tired with him. Everything seems not right for me. I've no other word to explain about all this. You just want too accept the explanation in your way. I always wanted to do something else but u understand something else. This miscommunication are driving me crazy. How can I make u understand? U messaging someone from your facebook and saying u don't know, forget, no idea..how u aspect me to accept? will u accept if u are in my shoes? Its hard to make u understand. And I don't know, really don't know how to tell u that how sad I am when u shouted and keep on telling me bad words even u don't mean it. Every time I have to swallow what u said. U told me that maybe Im the one who sent the message from your facebook just to make problem with u? Why would I do that? How could u think like that about me....when I never have any idea about u like that. Why u always look at me as a fault for u? I don't it...should I just ignore the world surrounding me? Why I felt people using me a lot? Which is true...? I have lost my faith once again. Should I love myself more than anything or anyone else? I got confused about all this. Its becoming complicated for me which is path I should follow? Should I just leave it to God? Why all this questions running in my brain? U want me to keep it in myself, and I will. Its seems to be simple. Iwill love your good and bad part..so do u to me but u never can do that. Everytime we fight, the word regret always on your lips. I have no one to tell about what I felt and no one understand what I felt and I don't want anybody to understand anyway. I hate this life. I have no idea for who am I doing all this hard work? I will leave it to HIM to decide what ever the best for me starts from now. I love u but I can't cheat myself to accept what the bad things about u.....