Today is 15 March 2011, 6.59pm exactly. I am sitting in front of the computer searching for something that can be my luck. Money money money, life is all about money and unfairness that given to people that are so good and nice like me. But why? felt like i lose my faith, should i? Two days inside there, gave me a lot of realization that how human are on this earth and how the world can be so harsh on u. Why im inside there? why me? there million hundred people out there worse than myself but why i have to take all this? I don't deserve this. I help my family, my parent, friends, people all human on this fucking earth but why i end up to be the one who have to get all the blame? It is true what people said, sometimes i just don;t understand why i have to become a robinhood or mother teressa that always help people but end up im in deepest shit. When i was inside there, everybody scared, sad, pity and will die for me but when im out, i thought everything going to change and woke them up but it come back as usual. NORMAL. How can that be? Which part of the world i should still look for answer? Now, im thinking, no wonder a lot of people inside there like don't have problem and they are happy because they don't have to think about anything. Now that im out, i have to settle all the shit. If i stay the other day, i don't have to think even to settle the shit, it will be clear by itself. Just have to wait for 14 days. I also totally lost. Im so regret until now, why i follow my brain and why i did not give any chance to my heart? All this is a big lesson for me, i learned from the world. U have to bitchy and slut then only u can live. That is what i saw from my eye. U be good, u will be fucked up same as u don't be good. I juse feel so terrible, horrible the way world treated me. I just lost my faith. Im speechless, i don;t know what to do. If i move, they will hurt me, if i freeze they will also disturb me. So how???
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